My oldest baby turned 4 this week. While I haven’t been a mom all that long compared to some, seeing other mamas going through the newborn phase for the first time has caused me to reflect on how much I have grown since becoming a first time mom myself.
Here are some things that I’ve learned from my first 4 years of motherhood:
- It’s okay not to be perfect. If you’re a new mom and are reading this I want to let you in on a little secret: none of us knows what we’re doing. Us moms are constantly bombarded with messages about how to be the perfect mom. There are blogs, social media posts, articles and TV shows showing us exactly how to do everything in the perfect way so that we don’t mess up this whole mom thing. Oh, and of course there are the Facebook mom groups where you receive every opinion under the sun. We’re not only being told how to do everything “right,” we’re being told that if we do it any other way that we’re doing it wrong. Listen up mamas: no one is perfect, no one does things the same way and not every way of doing things works for every child. Listen to your voice. Trust your instincts. And know that you will mess up. We all do. And that’s okay!
- It’s okay to give yourself permission to do nothing. Recently I told my therapist that my mind was kind of a like an iPhone. Even if apps aren’t open and being used, they are constantly running in the background because I’m not very good at turning them off. This, my friends, is an energy suck! If all of your apps are open your phone is still losing battery life even if you’re not using them. Same is true for you! Don’t get me wrong, there are SO many things to do all of the time. The to-do list never seems to get shorter, things just get replaced with other to-do tasks. And if that’s the case, it becomes even more important to us to take time to do absolutely nothing, because your to-do list isn’t going anywhere. Recharge your batteries! Meditate, lay down and breathe, totally veg out with the latest season of Workin’ Moms….it’s okay! You need it! And when you’re done, you can get back to being super mom.
- It’s okay not to love every minute of it. “You’re gonna miss this.” “Cherish these times!” “The days go by slow but the years go fast, love every minute of it!” I’m not saying that these sentiments have no value. They do. I have experienced moments with my children where I have told myself in that exact moment, “I’m going to miss this.” I have also experienced moments with my children where I wondered if my sanity was going to survive it. I don’t love those moments. I don’t love feeling depleted, my needs ignored or being shouted at because I grabbed the green cup instead of the pink one. And that’s okay! Not loving every minute of it doesn’t make you a bad mom, it makes you human. And giving yourself permission to feel the bad with the good is what helps keep us balanced. It’s not all smiling pictures at the pumpkin patch, right?
With 4 years down and a lifetime to go I know that I have so much more to learn. But I am so grateful to have moved through the journey of brand new motherhood with some great lessons that I can carry forward with me.
What are your #momlife lessons that you’ve learned? Comment on this post to let us know!